Daddy fell in love with everything about it, then again there was nothing at all you could say wasn’t nice. Wish Joe has been with us to see it, but he wanted to catch up in Tech after school.
Mum and Daddy were up all night sorting business plans it seems too good to be true.
This week I have been finishing assessments and seem to be doing ok.
Took the boys shopping on Tuesday and dragged Daddy round the shops which was really tough for him. Accents and noises made his body tense up and you could see how uncomfortable he was even though Mum, Joe and I were all with him. Joe got a shed load of new clothes, but if you could see how tall he is you will see why he is outgrowing his things fast. Then you have me, short!
Clara and Beatie are both due to have pups in the next couple of weeks and the owners of Clara came over. They were really pleased with how well she settled in. Daddy kept taking the mickey out of mums operation which made everyone laugh including mum. The evening seemed to go well so again, positive.
Roll on moving, because we are going to move and I am going to sort out a holiday place for Notes from Niamh. Not sure how or where yet but I will raise awareness and get the funding,
I was a bit upset that no one offered me any poems or letters, guess it is a tough thing to talk or write about, but I am now wondering if anyone reads this blog or not. Daddy told Mum that I could look through his book if I wanted to which I thought was really sweet of him.
The really dark days seem to be getting better, Daddy is still not great but I get hugs and cuddles again sometimes so there is a slight improvement. I chatted with Mum and we did offer to leave to give him time alone with Joe, but he said no. Not that many men would admit it, but he also said he could not cope without us. Mum would never leave him and walk away but thought that a bit of boy time may cheer him up.
I know that Joe and I hurt, so does Mummy when we see Daddy locked away in his shell, no doubt thinking of things he has seen or done and cannot talk about them. I also know that his tablets are not working and that makes the dark places seem even more scary; so if we are hurting seeing this war hero shaking and upset I hate to think how he feels and how scared he must be. Why can't I have a magic wand.
I am not going to say too much about my Daddy’s illnesses but he has gone from being super, super fit to a man that struggles to get up the stairs; cannot do basic things for himself, lives in constant pain, not even able to sit on a settee for long because it hurts, has fits and also has serious mental health problems. He has had a bad throat for about six months, struggles to eat food. This sort of life can only be like hell for him, knowing what he was like. I am sure the fact that he has gained weight also really upsets him; I have heard people say that he must eat a lot when he doesn’t. He eats one meal a day and is usually sick. People are cruel and judge without knowing the truth or trying to discover the facts.
My Daddy used to run and cycle for miles every day now struggles to walk to the car. People who don’t really know him cannot see the real person because he hides away and pretends everything is fine. They cannot see the PTSD and many don’t believe it truly exists. How can they say that? People believe in God in one way or another, but who has seen him or her. Some people cannot understand why Daddy has a wheel chair or needs care; again they don’t know him and cannot be bothered to ask. Then again, Daddy is very proud and wouldn’t tell them so I don’t suppose it really matters. My Daddy should not feel ashamed of anything he has done or the fact he is ill and no one has the right to judge him or anyone else who may have a disability or weakness.
I know I am getting mad but things on facebook, and on TV have been winding me up for the same reasons, people don’t try to understand the truth before commenting.
I must admit though sometimes facebook makes me smile when the “adults” make silly childish comments that I outgrew when I was ten. “You hurt me so I don’t like you anymore, share if you agree” or “My friend did this or someone else did that” it is worse than being at school and you call us kids. Why tell everyone if someone upset you, BUILD A BRIDGE AND GET OVER IT, do their friends want to know that Betty stole their boyfriend yesterday; it isn’t really the business of the rest of the world and does the world care.
Yeah I agree that close friends will talk to you but why don’t they use PM. Rant over.
The good thing about facebook is that we all get a laugh from old pictures, cute kittens and daft dogs. Warning, never leave your facebook account logged on at school Shauna, someone may hack it especially if you remember when you on the way home. Lol . The other good thing about facebook is of course my page.
Joe is still acing school, but I would not expect anything less. He has had a bit of a disastrous week though, punched the punch bag badly at school and hurt his wrist and managed to rip his trousers , dread to think what the third thing will be this week, stay out of the way of ladders Joe.
I cooked fish pie tonight and even skinned the fish, which is pretty good for me as I hate fish. I put chilli and celery salmon, cod and smoked haddock in, no idea what it tasted like but it got eaten. Mum and I had chicken which I also cooked in bbq sauce and cheese.
Well I have a radio interview to do for an assignment for tomorrow so I had better sleep. Not that I am really on the radio just have to write the interview as though I am presenting a show. Sweet dreams everyone.
Huggles
Nemo x x x